Lying in the darkness between two backdrops, the left one to be used soon, and behind the one on the right a familiar scene is going on, a scene from a show that I’ve seen from the sidelines many times by now. I’m stretched out in the shape of a cross on the hard stage floor, staring up at the walkways and theater mechanics high above. The actors on the other side of the backdrop are performing a song and dance number and I can feel the vibrations in the floor. I zone out for a while, staring blankly at the middle distance – I am there but my mind is elsewhere. Although there is music and dance, song and laughter just on the other side of this piece of cloth, it feels strangely peaceful here. I like it here, I like lying on the floor in the darkness, yet so close to all that vividness. In this juxtaposing serenity, I feel like I belong.